What if the most radical thing we could do was pause?
Most of us are taught that momentum is the point. Keep moving, keep producing, keep pushing. Rest is something you earn at the end - if you earn it at all.
Over the past - wow it’s almost been 8 months - we decided to test that assumption. We slowed down, stepped back, and reflected on what we want Network of Empathy to become and why.
What follows is some of the thinking that we did during that time.
Facing the double drain
Change makers - the people working hardest to create a more just, regenerative, and humane world - are running on empty.
It’s not a mystery why. When you care deeply about systemic change, you take on a particular kind of weight: the grief of what’s broken, the frustration of working inside institutions that contradict your values, the isolation of holding a vision that most people around you don’t share. And all of this happens inside systems that are themselves extractive - that take more than they give back.
The result is what we’ve started calling the double drain. Energy spent pushing against a dysfunctional world, while that same world depletes what remains. Burnout. Disconnection. The quiet question that so many of us carry but rarely say out loud: can I actually keep doing this?
Even though this lack of motivation and energy seems like a personal failing, it is not. It is a structural condition. And it deserves a structural response.
Empathy as supportive infrastructure
During our strategy sessions we returned to our original point of departure: empathy. The symptoms we saw in ourselves and others were quite likely linked to empathy burnout - exhaustion caused by consistently absorbing and trying to fix other people’s pain. However, reflecting on it further, we came to the conclusion that empathy is not the problem - the absence of support for it is.
When change makers are properly held - in a space where authentic connection is possible, co-regulation can take place and we feel a sense of belonging that allows us to build up new resources - something different becomes possible. Empathy stops being a drain and becomes what it actually is: the ignition for individual action, the connective tissue of collective action, and the root system of change that lasts.
We also believe that we are never really working alone. We are always in relationship - with other humans around, before and after us as well as the eco-systems that we are a part of. And cultivating that relational capacity is not a distraction from the real work. It is what makes the real work possible.
This is the thinking behind why we continue to build Network of Empathy as well as what supportive infrastructure we want to build going forward.
What’s new
1. We are now a registered non-profit association.
Network of Empathy is officially a German Verein - a membership-based organisation, legally and structurally. That means we are owned by our members. If you become a member, you hold a stake in how this organisation grows and where it goes. It feels important to us to create an organisation that serves us as a community. If you’d like to become a member, we’d love for you to join us. You can find out more and download a membership application here.
2. We are launching a new series of NOE Circles.
NOE Circles are our online gatherings - small, facilitated spaces where change makers come together to share experiences, listen deeply, and find the relief of being genuinely seen and heard. Each Circle features a guest speaker sharing something from their own journey, followed by open exchange.
Our next Circle is already this Saturday, 6th of June at 10am CET: Never Too Small to Make Big Changes with Madina R.
Joining a NOE Circle is always free! Check out all upcoming events here.
3. This newsletter is back.
We’ll be using this platform to share our thinking, introduce the people and ideas shaping our work, and offer insights into what we are working on behind the scenes. If you’d like to contribute an essay, op-ed or something else on a topic that matters to you, please get in touch (contact@networkofempathy.org)!
An invitation
While we are restarting our activities, we are still figuring out the details: what spaces and formats are needed to create the supportive infrastructure we are imagining. However, we want to make sure that they are relevant for those who need them most, which is why we want to build with you, not for you.
So we want to ask you directly: What do you need from a space like Network of Empathy?
What would make a difference in your work right now? What’s missing from the conversations you’re part of? What would it mean to feel genuinely resourced — not just for the next sprint, but for the long run?
Feel free to comment or email us (contact@networkofempathy.org). We’d love to hear from you and co-create together.
With warmth,
Alex, Mareike, Nada & Rimma
P.S. If someone forwarded this to you and you’d like to learn more — you can subscribe to the newsletter below, join a NOE Circle here, or find out about membership here.